a new year is almost here and some things will change and others won't.

I will stay in Seattle for a while longer that I originally thought. I've sent in papers for a 6 month extention ~ I'll probably go home in late June, so don't worry it's not gonna be that long :)
this means that I will take some classes at Belleue Community College which will be interesting.

one thing that I will need to work on this year is cleaning up the mess I created at home studywize. I'm not really looking forward to that, but isn't there an old saying about an unmade bed which would fit that situation?

looks like this will be an interesting year and hopefully, for once, I'll manage to complete my goals.
I'll keep you posted

I'm sooo sick of all the girl drama!
what's with people? are we 12 again? if someone is pissed they should just say so and why instead of being all pissy about it. what - we can't have different plans for the weekend and still be friends? noooo. I get that now. wish someone would have told me before.
and now it will bug me the rest of the day. thank you very much for that.
I'm annoyed. can you tell?
can't wait to go home and get away from this.

let move on to soemething good.
in about a week I'll get my papers from Au Pair In America and I'll know what date I'll come home. I talked to my councellor and she said the likely dates are October 19th or April 2nd.
the agency only pays for the flight from NY - little bit strange, I know - so my optionas are to pay 320 $ to fly from Seattle to Copenhagen or 200 $ from Seattle to NY to Copenhagen. I would have gone with the seecond option since I need the money for shipping stuff home. but thanks to my great parents, who are paying for it, I can do the first, and waay less stressfull, option number one.

let you know when I have the dates :)

Obama won. yay!
looks like we have hope after all. and now his daughters can finally get the puppy they've been dreaming off. voila everybody's happy :) I really liked this election, especially since it was over about two hours before all the votes were counted. me likey why do I like Obama so much? in his candidate statement he has a lot of good things to say *crosses fingers that he will keep them* such as: "men and women receive equal pay for equal work" "all Americans have access to quality, affordable health care" "make college affordable for anyone who wants to go" and the big one that will affect those not living in the US: "end the war in Iraq responsibly" and lock down loose nuclear weapons"

like I said me likey :)
apparently F wants me to report all the changes and sure, I will but it may take a while since Obama wont become president for another two months. but once he does I'm sure the grass will become greener and the sun will shine brighter.
just kidding.

kinda...

today is Election day. it's finally here.
there are signs everywhere that says "VOTE!" abc family and all the other TV channels which are directed towards the younger population tells you to "VOTE!" Ellen had an how to guide in her show yesterday and gave the Americans some good pointers ~ don’t ask the person in the booth next to you who they’re voting for ~
it kinda makes me feel guilty for not being able to vote. If they only knew how badly I want to do it.
it feels like most people in Washington state roots for Obama, I even saw a license plate that said 4OBAMA. now that’s what I call a true democrat.
I’m going to cross my fingers, and hope for the best. apart from that I’m pretty powerless in this situation and I don’t like it one bit.

I want to vote, can I pleeeeeaaaase?
I’ll give you cookies

my parents came.... and left. it was really nice having them here and in a weird way I was sadder to leave them at the airport this time than I was when I left Sweden six months ago. odd. thankfully I had made plans to meet Maria and Danielle right after otherwise that would have been a bad night. but that didn't stop me from being all weepy in the car. it suddenly hit me that people are leaving. first it was Katrine a few months ago, Maria left the day before my parents, the other Maria is leaving in less than two weeks. so that kinda sucks. but I've been thinking about extending and if I do I might aswell get used to people leaving...

I realized that I love biographies. I just finished one about Heath Ledger, Audrey Hepburn is next on the list. and after that maybe James Dean? anyone’s life you think I should read about?

I’m going to Las Vegas in two weeks. fun fun fun. I’m going there with Danielle and two of her friends to salubrate her b-day. Vegas, baby! can’t wait to check out Grand Canyon which we’re doing one of the days.

last but not least: I found the perfect Halloween outfit. I got this really pretty dress. it’s very ”promdressy” Maria, Danielle and me will go as Miss Denmark, Miss Australia and Miss Sweden and will be fighting over the crown all evening at a party we’re going to. it’s gonna be so much fun but initially I wanted to be something ugly
~ cause hey! easier ~
a girly day could be fun to, I'm looking forward to being a red head again and getting our hair fixed. I'll probably dress up as something else when I go trick-or-treating with B and K since walking around the neighbourhood in high heels and a long dress doesn't seem like something I could do.

two days ago I was in a car accident. I figured it would happen sooner or later since I drive so much here, but apart from that I didn’t give it much more thought.

this Tuesday around 1 pm I wished I had figured out a plan. me and the kiddos were going to feed the ducks and get some lunch before I had to drop them off at their school picnic. that did not happen. on the way to the pond where the ducks live I had to brake quite hard since the girl in front of me did that. every thing was fine for about two seconds when the girl behind me failed to brake and crashed into us. first thing that came out of my mouth was: “shit” closely followed by asking the kids if they were fine, which, thank god, they were.

a guy who was going in the other direction stopped and asked how we were and helped getting us on the right track by calling the police. I completely loved him for that.

~ I seem to do that a lot: falling in love with strangers who are nice to me when I’m completely lost ~
anyway I went outside to check on Bob (we named the car that) and it didn’t look to good. realizing that I had to call my host dad and tell him about the accident made me freak out more than the accident itself. I know it sounds insane but telling someone that you were in a car accident with their car while driving their kids is scary. add the fact that this person is your employer and that you’re living in their house in a country that’s far far away from your family who loves you no matter what. plus at this point I still wasn’t clear on what had happened and I felt guilty for the whole thing (still feel a little bit like that – my Swedish guilt is deeply rooted)so to sum it up: I was scared shitless. I called my host dad and he asked how we were and told me to call him when I knew more.

at this point the policemen had arrived and while waiting for them to finish their thing I had plenty of time to go through the motions and think about my host parents’ reaction when they got home later. I talked out loud which I sometimes do when I’m stressed out and among other things that came out were: oh shit. they will hate me now. they’ll never trust me again. oh shit. I want my mom. I want to go home to Sweden. they’re going to fire me. oh shit.
the kids assured me that everything would be fine, Kyle told me that they had been in car accidents before, and by the tenth time I asked how they felt they started to get annoyed and I started to calm down. Bridget and Kyle got crayons and hats from a fireman to entertain them but we all started to get a bit bored after a while.
the police wanted my drivers license and my insurance papers and they told me to check if my engine still worked (it did), they walked around and took pictures and asked what happened. the girl in the car behind me was rolled away on a gurney with a neck-thing on since her airbags were activated by the impact, but other than that no one was hurt. and about an hour later we were able to drive home, we stopped in a parking lot to check Bob out and then we went home.
thankfully everything turned out fine. once my host parents came home I told them again what happened, Bridget wanted to talk to her mom alone and when they came back my host mom said that they weren’t going to fire me. apparently Bridget had asked her since I worried about it during my freak-out. she’s so sweet sometimes :D

I still feel a little bit guilty, but I’ve gone through it so many times in my head by now and I still can’t see how I could have done anything differently in that situation. I’m just so happy the kiddos were fine, I’d much rather get hurt myself than see anything happen to them.
I’m driving, nervously with an extra eye on the cars behind me, but still. my host dad said he trusts me and that I need to do that to. and I will get my confidence back. soon.

poor broken butt Bob

last day before New York...
... and I must say I spent it well...

I got up at 6.20 am to get the kids ready for their las day at the camp at the Pacific Science Center and I didn't go to bed again after they were out the door at 7.20 am ~ which, trust me, is a great feat.
I had breakfast, showered and got dressed ('cause that's what you do in the morning)
at 10 am Katrine picked me up and we went into Seattle. on the way to the city we stopped by the Troll under the bridge which was really cool and then we went into the city.
after a quick stop at Starbucks we went on the Monorail to the center of Seattle where we did what girls do - walk around, talking and shopping. at one point we decided that we wanted to see Mamma Mia! and I loved the first part of it. we were singing along to the songs and talking while watching ~ so much fun :D
but all fun things must come to an end and we were told - very harshly I might add - to shut up since we were disturbing a grumpy man on the row infront of us. the movie was still good but he kind of put a damper on things ~ were we still allowed to laugh?
after the movie we walked around some more and (naturally) trash-talked the grumpy man.
as much as I didn't want it to end we decided that it was time to head home. and once Katrine drove up outside my house I got all sad and weepy. the reason for this is simple - she's done working next week and I might not see her again until I get home to Sweden (she lives in Kopenhagen, which is nice and close). because she is one of my best friends here in Seattle and one of the funniest people I know I'm kind of scared that the rest of my time here will suck. which totally stinks :(
I miss you guys like crazy (just so you know) and now it will be even worse since the person I felt most connected to is leaving. being an au-pair sure sucks sometimes.
while we were sitting in the car outside my house talking, the kids who were playing outside were looking at us seemingly thinking "what the h-ll are they doing?!?"
once I was out and Katrine was on her way home Bridget and I ran through the sprinkler on the front lawn. my jeans got wet but since it cheered me up it was totally worth it :)

I packed my stuff for New York and Canada....
.... and now I'm sitting here since I promised one of you a blog-update before NY...

I got my first parking ticket. and I was stuck on the floor for 20 min.

sounds confusing? it's not.

last Thursday I decided to take the kids to the Children's Museum in Everett which I did and we had a blast. on the way out from the parkinglot I spot a pay-thingy (not sure what they're called - it's a metal box where you pay for parking - also I'm in pain right now and that's distracting me) and I'm thinking to myself "shit I didn't see that before, hope they didn't catch me" after I get out of Everett and on the I-5 I see something yellow on my windshield and yet again I go "shit, looks like they caught me after all".

the next half hour was a very nervous one, I can promise you that. when we finally reach McDonalds (K&B were craving desert) I look at the dreaded yellow envelope and realize that it could have been so much worse.

but that doesn't keep me from being annoyed...

just now I was stuck on the floor. like a bug on it's back. I could not move or get up.

last night around 7 pm my back started to ache. in the area of my shoulder blade. no biggie, maybe I had spent to much time with my jigsaw puzzle which happes at time. when I got home from Maria's house at 00.10 am it still hurt and I was starting to wonder what the heck was going on back there.

this morning nothing had changed and I realized that the right side of my upper body including my arm is, almost, completely useless since it hurts like *piiiip* every time I use or move it in a weird angle. typing on my computer is fine but that's pretty much the extent of what doesn't hurt.

I tried one of the oldest tricks in the book: lying down on my back, legs on a chair in 90°. it felt ok but no major pain reliever, so I decide to get up. only now I'm stuck. I can't move because of the pain. so I lay there on the floor trying to find a way up that wont hurt. and this takes me twenty minutes. twenty very frustrating painful minutes.

my host parents told me to take painkillers and any sane person would do that. but I'm not one of those people.

the way I see it is that if something hurts when you move it's better to feel the pain since it's your body's way of telling you that something is wrong and that you should take it easy. if you take painkillers you wont feel pain (duh) but you might end up doing something to make it worse.

sounds insane I know but remember my back really really aches and I have yet to find a position that feels confortable, maybe I'll take the kids on a field trip tomorrow to someone who can help me fix my back...

Jag antar din utmaning Sara (och skriver på svenska)
Here goes:

Vad gjorde du för 10 år sedan?

Kan inte svära i domstol under ed men trór att det var så här: För 10 år sen hade jag sommarlov och såg framemot en ridläger vecka, en Greklands semester, sovmorgon, cykelturer till Vaxsjön och andra roliga sommar saker. Dock fasade jag för 3 veckor i sommarstugan utan varmvatten och med utedass mitt i skogen (inte roligt om man är mörkrädd med livlig fantasi)

Vilka 5 saker finns på din att-göra-lista?

1. Planera sommaren för mig och kidsen ~ måste hitta roliga aktiviteter att göra utomhus (och inomhus om det berömda Seattle vädret kommer tillbaka)
2. Kolla upp vilka datum jag är hemma så jag vet när jag kan hitta på roligheter med Maria och Maria. La Push and Forks here we come :)
3. Leta efter och anmäla mig till roliga/intressanta kurser.
4. Spara ihop så jag har råd att läsa kurserna ~ 500 $ från mina host parents kommer man inte långt på.
5. Tvinga mig igenom de första kapitelna i the Host eftersom resten av boken ska vara bra.

Ställen du bott på?

Malmö ~ Dalslandsatan och ? (var för liten för att komma ihåg)

Höör ~ Lodjursstigen

Akureiry ~ Helgamagastraeti (sommar boende räknas)

Botell ~ 2711 202nd St SE (min nuvarande adress)

5 saker du skulle göra om du var billionär?

1. Köpa den (för mig) perfekta hästen.

2. Resa till platser jag nu bara kan drömma om ~ London, Alcatraz, Nya Zeeland ~

3. Shoe shopping in New York

4. Spara till framtida utgifter så som studielån (om jag någonsin går tillbaka till skolan), boende etc.

5. Donera en rejäl bit av det till mina favorit organisationer: WWF, Fair Trade, Rädda Barnen.

Saras utmaning är antagen och avklarad, och här är mina listor. Hur ser dina listor ut?

I just came home after watching Sex and the City. it's 12.50 am. and I want to cry. because of a stupid movie.
why did the movie have this big inpact on me you might wonder....
even if the movie wasn't the greatest (not saying it wasn't good) it left me feeling alone. as long as I was swept up in SatC it was fine but in the car on my way home I started thinking (and that is as we all know never good) and thinking about the movie made me think about the core of SatC. the girls. their frindships. and it made me miss my friends at home. alot. alot alot.
I've never been away for a longer period like this and I miss normal everyday stuff. talking on msn. going to Lund and have lunch. going for walks. knowing that you have people just a phone call away if life feels like shit and you need to talk.
I miss that. and even if I have great friends here it's not the same. not nearly the same.
I normally deal with it by not thinking about it. I do stuff with the kids. watch GREEK. go shopping at the mall. and if everything else fails I go to Barnes & Noble.
but after watching the movie it was right in front of me and I can't ignore it tonight (I will do my best to supress these emotions in the morning). I want to go home right now and hang out with you guys. I won't even have to talk, I'll just sit and listen to your discussions and pretend I understand what you talking about.

and I'll be happy and not feel as alone and detached as I feel here.
I swear.

today has been a day that started out on the shitty side.
grouchy kids in the morning made me feel like the worst au pair ever, like I don't know what I'm doing here and that I'm not doing anything right.
when it was lunch time I was still annoyed from yesterday when I had to eat rice for dinner (again). I'm so sick of it! I want potaoes! I love potatoes! gimme gimme gimme (potatoes)!
all we eat is rice rice rice. I hate rice! it's always the same. potatoes are good. they come in different types and shapes. wonderful German yellow ones. mashed ones. big ones in the oven. chopped up ones in the oven. new potatoes. potatoes with the special chicken sauce my dad makes. potatoes and salmon with the special salmon sauce. potatoes with the brown sauce my grandmother makes. chopped up oven potatoes with tsatziki outside on the patio in the summer. I love potatoes!
anyway. I did some laundry and M called to say she was taking the kids home. boy did that make me feel useful. not. I can't even drive the kids home today. what am I here for?
but then they came home and I helped B pack for her camp. that girl can pack. she's staying over one night and packed three t-shirts, three long sleeved shirts, three pairs of pants, two pairs of socks and two pairs of underwear. for two days and one night. I would probably have done the same a few years ago, but I've learned not to pack too much these last years when I've been living out of my backpack.
while we were packing M had made tea for us and B went into the kitchen and forbade me to enter. turns out she was setting the table for tea time. so sweet. she had put our tea cups on a tray and put some chocolate chip cookies on a plate on the tray and while we were having tea time she taught me the correct way to drink tea. apparently I've been doing it wrong all these years. if only I'd known.
after tea time with B I didn't feel like such a shitty au pair and K just came in here to show me that he dressed up Teddy in a t-shirt, K's underwear, B's watch and a bracelet to top it of.

if only the weather could get better and I could get some potatoes (I need them and I want them) everything would be ok.

I love Starbucks!

Im getting dangerously addicted to their Mocha Frappuccino.

Here's how they describe it at the Starbucks website:

Mocha Frappuccino® Blended Coffee
A delightfully sweet and creamy combination of chocolate,

Starbucks® coffees and milk, blended with ice, topped with

whipped cream (optional).

Just give me a Tall Mocha Frappucino with no wipped creme

and suddenly my day seems so much better.

we went to the improv theatre again last night and I won a prize :D
sadly it was my lack of suggestion that made me win it.
the host, John, asked me what my middle name was and my response was “I don’t have one” and he went “wow, ok do you have a first name?” and then he apologized (unnecessary but sweet) and he used the first letter for their next performance.
at the end of each show the two best suggestions receives dinner and a show. and the second prize went to the girl who said Nicholas Cage and the first prize went to and I quote “the girl who said I don’t have one when asked about her middle name”
so embarrassing, Katrine was sitting next to me and pointed me out to John who gave me the fabulous prize :D
when we walked out of the theatre he apologized again and gave me an extra piece of candy. so not necessary – he couldn’t know my parents didn’t see it fit to give me an extra name incase of situations like this.

I’ve recently started to draw horses. real ones - not my usual stick figure type of horse. I even got a book to show me how to and this is my first real try. I admit it could be better but hey it could be worse to (at least we can see what it is, right?).
Bridget named him Moon Stone and colored him. hopefully my drawings will get better with time :D

it’s been a while since I wrote last and quite a few things have happened since then. there have been the very-crappy-why-did-I-go-out-of the-bed-type-of-days and the so-happy-I’m-here-can-we-freeze-time-so-I-can-stay-here-type-of-days.

a few days after my last post I had one of those crappy days I don’t know why ~ maybe I ate something weird or maybe the stress of this was finally catching up with me any guess is as good as the other ~ but after lunch my stomach started aching and I was bleeding a lot from bad places (when I say a lot I mean clown-nose-red in the toilet twice). this me completely freak-out and when I went to get the kids I was 10 minutes late with a headache which felt like it would split my head in two.
once we were home the kids played with each other and I went to my room since Bridget was angry at me for some reason (can’t remember – but it’s never good) and I didn’t have the energy to deal with that.
when my host mother came home I fell apart and started to cry - so embarrassing - but in my defense I had had a shitty day. that night I had made plans to meet Maria (a girl who I met the week before) at Starbucks in Bellevue and I really didn’t feel up for it.
thank god I went.
I really needed to get out of the house and Maria is one of the nicest people I’ve met here. we had a lot of fun which was exactly what I needed (that and painkillers).
the next day I was still weak in the knees and completely without energy which proved to be a problem when Bridget wanted me to be the sea monster at the playground after school (we made up the night before – she complimented me on the color of my socks before I left for Starbucks so I knew she wasn’t mad anymore)
after a couple of times of me saying no and explaining the reason for it Kyle stepped up and offered to be the sea monster.
that Saturday something important happened, something that would change our lives forever. sort of.
we went to Jet City Improv Theatre, by we I mean parts of my au pair group and Maria (who went with a different agency). it was sooo much fun! all the things they did and how they did it. hilarious. if you ever get a chance to go to something like that – do it! my throat hurt the next day from laughing and going whooohoo.
naturally we went the week after that and that time they sang about tacos. sounds strange I know.
me, Maria and Katrine went last week again (third time in a row) to celebrate Katrine’s 21st b-day and my drivers license (ugly picture btw, I’m gonna conveniently get it stolen so I can get a new one). after the show ended at 00.15 am we went out in the University District to find a nice pub or bar to hang out in. we found one that was packed with people so we ended up sharing table with two very nice and funny people (sadly I can’t remember their names). they taught us about Seattle nightlife, that you should never ever mix jello shots with drinks (beer is ok) and that the boys here are really short.
they also told us that the night life here dies at 2 am – a fact that Maria had a hard time accepting. half an hour later she was still saying “2 am, 2am?!?!?!?!”
so funny :D
truth is it feels a bit early but if they can’t sell alcohol after 2 am why stay open...
still sucks.
on the way to where we were supposed to get picked up by my host father something else of interest happened. I was almost run over by a taxi. so scary. here you’re allowed to go right on red when you drive (unless otherwise is posted). but if there’s a crosswalk and the light is green for the pedestrians you have to wait. apparently this taxi driver didn’t know that and he had some speed coming around that corner right were we were crossing the street on a green light. had we been there two seconds earlier someone would have been hit, and that someone would probably have been me…

gold star to the person who can guess where we’re going this Friday night = )

Our snow day - in April

another week.
and now I’m on my own. Franzi left this morning and now it’s up to me to take care of B and K. hopefully I’ll be fine. who knows.
I’ve slept in my bed since Monday when Franzi and I switched rooms and I don’t like it. actually I like to sleep in it, but when I’m awake I somehow manage to walk in to the frame which resulted in two bruisebumps on my legs. not nice when you’re going to the pool. evil bed.
I’ve started to drive and true to my nature I’ve already gotten lost. twice in one day. with a navigator. how sad is that! I’ve also been honked at a couple of times. and to top it off I drove against a red light. I was in Seattle at rush-hour and I was completely stressed out. driving is scary especially when you’re surrounded by lots and lots and lots of cars. I can’t wait to get back to Malmö and the easy going traffic there. thank god I have a few more weeks to practice before the test.

we went to IKEA this week and we had so much fun. we tried all the good chairs and we ate lunch in the restaurant (which looks exactly like the one in Malmö. they even had a section with Swedish food. I got some bilar for the trip home, but the kids weren’t very impressed by them. more for me =) and now I know that if I ever get homesick I can always go to IKEA.

yesterday I fell in love.
sadly not with a boy but with Barnes and Noble. a wonderful store with books and music. they even have their own book bags. I’m getting one of those as soon as I feel like I need an extra treat and can decide on the colour. ~ as of now I’m leaning towards the brown one ~
I went there yesterday and I stayed for forty minutes, walking around in awe. I could have stayed there longer but my money was running out (I bought two records, one movie and a book) and I had to go pick up Franzi after her fashion show. I was asked twice if I wanted to become a member for a year which meant pay 10 $ and get 10 % reduced price. at the rate I’m going I probably should.

first of all. it's not nice to write comments like that on my blog. it made me miss you and it might cause a bad case of homesickness later on.

I wrote some stuff in the e-mail but this is where I'll put all the interesting stuff. just kidding, but I will probably go more into detail about certain things in my blog.

to start from the beginning: we arrived at the Kennedy Airpot in New York, while walking through immigration (they checked our Visas and you had to leave fingerprints) Amina dissapered. Me and Sofie walked to the right and got to the baggage claim, Amina went to the left and she was gone. first we located our suitcases, and then Amina's suitcases. then we looked around and Sofie went to ask the people at the desks. no one knew. we waited some more and after a while I gathered some courage and asked a policeman. the policeman was really sweet, he told me not to be nervous - just tell him what I needed. I explained that we'd lost our friend and we were beginning to worry. he told me that sometimes the fingerprints need to be re-done and not to worry - our friend would show up soon. at that moment I loved him. we were a bit lost, worried for Amina and the man at the desk hadn't been very nice. and here he was. a total stranger. someone we'd met a moment ago and he vas nice and made everything seem ok.
as you know Amina showed up and the policeman came up to us, we told him that this was our missing friend and he took us to the exit. we didn't have to wait in line and show the papers - he took them and wished us a pleasant stay. my first encounter with Americans in America wasn't so nice - grumpy immigrations guy- but the second American more than made up for it.

when we were on the New York tour we had a guide who was really funny, at one point he said: " This is where Titanic would've docked, but we all know how that went with Leonardo DiCaprio and his blue lips. glup glup glup"

George made American/Canadian pancakes this morning, I was a bit doubtful at first since last time I ate American pancakes I had really bad cramps for an hour afterwards, remember the badness E? but not to worry the pancakes were really really good, he promised to teach me how to do them.

I almost forgot. at the movie theater yesterday we took som pictures and as soon as Franzi puts them in the computer I'll put them on facebook or here. you're really gonna like this S =)

wow. tomorrow it’s actually time to get on the plane and go to New York. my bags are packed and I’m pretty much ready to go. amazing.
still not nervous. but as L pointed out I’m probably in denial, which is a very nice place. I've been there before.
I promise to update my blog and there will probably be some mass e-mails too (I know they are somewhat impersonal, and I’m not that much of a fan of them myself, but that’s the easiest way. sorry)

as Dorothy said:
- Scarecrow, I think I'm going to miss you most of all.

it’s crazy.
in a week, give or take a few hours, I’ll be in New York. New York – a shoe lover’s paradise, not that I can afford or walk in the shoes I dream about, but in a week I’ll be in the same country as them. which to me is a dream come true :)

I’ll also be in the country which I’ll spend the next thirteen months. living with people who I’ve only talked to on the phone. living close to Seattle – everything I know about that city I’ve learned from Grey’s Anatomy. is that a reliable source of information?
crazy.
the craziest part though is the fact that I’m still not nervous. that’s also the part that scares me the most. it’s reached a point where I’m starting to get nervous about getting nervous. this also puts me at a whole new level of silliness, a level which I didn’t even knew existed.
let me say it again: crazy

it’s an adventure of a life time.

and yes it’s crazy

but it’s also oh-so-exiting.

soon it will be over. thank goodness!
being that I’m somewhat of a perfectionist and add the fact that the seamstress-gene in my DNA is missing sewing a dress for my father was not such a brilliant idea (don’t worry, he’s wearing it as part of a Schlager show at F&S – no funny business here :)
when I decided to do it I had an idea of how it would turn out, unfortunately my sewing skills didn’t quite match my vision.
give me some paper, glue, colours and other fun materials and I can create almost anything I set my mind to.
my point: I’m not a seamstress and it will be along long time until I put myself behind a sewing machine again.
if ever.

sunshine + visitors from Germany = a walk on the beach
(yay for cell phone with camera)

yesterday I went to Malmö to check out the annual spring book sale. since it was the day of my salary and I like books, I thought that this might be somewhat risky business. I might end up with more books than I can possibly carry.
turned out I didn’t have to worry.
I bought one book.
one book with 200 sudoku puzzles.
on sale.
I did, however, buy hair colour.
on sale.
and sunglasses which I needed.
not on sale.
I also found a box with Sabrina and Funny Face.
on sale.

and even though I almost didn’t buy any books at the book sale I’m still satisfied. it’s my true belief that one can never have to many Audrey Hepburn movies in the collection.
and mine just increased with 100% so I’m good.

btw. it occured to me yesterday that in a month I will be in the States.
scary. exciting. wow.

this sucks!!
I can usually sleep anywhere anytime, although if I’m not in my bed I prefer grandma’s couch or a train.
but for some reason I can’t sleep tonight. I was a bit nauseous before, which could be a reason. except that’s gone now. I’ve already cleaned my room and I’m seriously considering to clean the bathroom. the reason this sucks really much is that I’m supposed to work today. my clock is supposed to wake me up in an hour. I've reset it to 06.50 which is when I need to get up to call in sick. if I were fall asleep that is (which I doubt) I I will not be able to work for ten hours on no sleep. that is a fact. no matter how bad it will make me feel I see no other option. I hate it. but at some point today I will crash and burn, and I'd hate to do that in the middle of giving someone their meds.
and now I'm hungry.

I’ll say it again: this sucks!

I just did a personality test at similarminds.com and out of the nine famous leaders this is who I was most alike.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

who knew

there is something magical about British men who sing. especially when they have that special, rougher accent. earlier this week I saw Across the Universe a musical which takes place in the 60’s (it starts out in Liverpool and continues in the US).
I was hooked right from the start mainly because of the cute boy, Jim Sturgess, who opened his mouth and sang with his beautiful British voice. listening to the soundtrack his voice very much resembles Ewan McGregor’s from Moulin Rouge. they even sing the same song – All You Need Is Love. me likes :)

and one more thing I like is that the strike is over. yay. the Academy Awards are saved.
I’m doing my happy dance to the soundtrack of Across the Universe.

I have to admit I'm not too impressed with our capital city.
then agian this time of the year no city would impress me. it's grey and dark. simply put: it's not very inviting.
anyway, I'm not here to get to know and love Stockholm. I'm here to apply for my visa. I've filled out all the different forms, and believe me there were a lot. and now all I have to do is convince the Embassy that I'm not a terrorist (which I'm not) and that they can let me into their country.

next stop: the American Embassy

I love Sundays. I usually don't play favourites when it comes to days. nor do I have a day in the week which I dislike above the others like Sourpuss.
but Sundays are good days.
Sundays are Post Secret days.
Sundays are days when it’s ok to sleep in, even if you don’t work the rest of the week.
Sundays are days when it’s ok to do nothing.
and that I love.

Heath Ledger is dead. and I'm sad. it's ridiculous I know. I've only seen a few of his movies and he hasn’t affected my life very much. (remember how much we laughed when he did that stupid singing scene in 10 things I hate about you F?) but still. it’s sad when someone that young dies. someone who had a shot at something great. a two year old daughter and a growing career. it makes me sad that he will miss all these things. it also serves as a reminder of how fragile life is and that we only have one shot at it (depending on your religious status). it makes me determined not to miss any of it. whatever life throws at me I’m game.

on imdb these past three days the Quote of the day has been characters he played. I guess that’s one way of remember and honour him.

I wonder how long they will keep that going.

I just filled out my visa application.
looks like I’m really going.
the freak-out is scheduled to arrive by the beginning of next week.
I’m really happy with the family, when I spoke with them they were so nice I completely forgot how nervous I was. which is a good thing.

I wanted to thank you guys for the support and for writing the great character references, I had no idea I was such a nice person :) (I’ll probably print them and carry them around in the US like a security blanket)

next thing to do is my favourite among preparations. list writing. I could even write a list of lists I need to write. yay. I’m such a nerd. it’s a character flaw.

on March 25 I’ll arrive in New York for the Orientation and on the 28th I’ll meet the family for the first time.
two important and also scary dates to remember.

I'm sick of people destroying my forest.
ok it's not actually my forest, but it’s mine in the sense that I grew up in it. I sat on the small mountain and killed ants ~ in my defence they were biting me first ~ I watched a friend slip and fall into the river. I ran around and saw the forest in ways that only children are allowed to. there could be castles and horses or a nice cave to hide out from evil monsters, the only restriction was our imagination.
I still like to go for walks in the very same forest. only difference is that I don’t see the wonderland it was, I saw a new one. a peaceful beautiful place. just for me and my thoughts. but not anymore. now I see trash lying about and trees chopped down so they can build houses. and it makes me sad and a bit angry. where will the kids in those new houses play and find treasures? where will I go for walks? can’t people throw their shit in garbage cans? can’t they build new houses somewhere else?
can’t they leave my forest alone?

I’m really happy that you guys seem so excited about this. glad someone is.
I’m currently terrified. just so you know.
I know I have no reason to be, I should be happy, but that’s not going to happen right now.
I’m scared that when (if) a potential host family calls I will do the nervous babbling thing I tend to do, or maybe I’ll do the opposite and close up like a clam. and the family will realize what a spaz I can be and fear that I might damage their children. help.
anyone who wants to do a test interview with me to help me calm my nerves?

Dear Fanny,
You have been accepted onto the Au Pair In America programme.
A full acceptance pack has been sent to you in the mail and below is a reminder of your login details for the Au Pair in America website, where you will be able to access lots of useful information on matching with a host family and can learn more about life in the US.
Email Address: fanny_voigt@hotmail.com
Password: **********

Please feel free to contact us with any questions and we hope to find you a great host family soon.

Kind regards,
Au Pair in America

the snow has arrived.
finally
the whole world wrapped up in a cold, beautiful blanket. it’s magical. when the sun shines and there’s a thick layer of snow just waiting for someone (me) to mess it up.
making snow angels.
racing down a hill on a sled.
skating on the frozen lake.
being icy cold on the outside but warm with snow joy on the inside.

those days are the best.

Me and Frida on the tiny slope outside her house a few years ago