two days ago I was in a car accident. I figured it would happen sooner or later since I drive so much here, but apart from that I didn’t give it much more thought.

this Tuesday around 1 pm I wished I had figured out a plan. me and the kiddos were going to feed the ducks and get some lunch before I had to drop them off at their school picnic. that did not happen. on the way to the pond where the ducks live I had to brake quite hard since the girl in front of me did that. every thing was fine for about two seconds when the girl behind me failed to brake and crashed into us. first thing that came out of my mouth was: “shit” closely followed by asking the kids if they were fine, which, thank god, they were.

a guy who was going in the other direction stopped and asked how we were and helped getting us on the right track by calling the police. I completely loved him for that.

~ I seem to do that a lot: falling in love with strangers who are nice to me when I’m completely lost ~
anyway I went outside to check on Bob (we named the car that) and it didn’t look to good. realizing that I had to call my host dad and tell him about the accident made me freak out more than the accident itself. I know it sounds insane but telling someone that you were in a car accident with their car while driving their kids is scary. add the fact that this person is your employer and that you’re living in their house in a country that’s far far away from your family who loves you no matter what. plus at this point I still wasn’t clear on what had happened and I felt guilty for the whole thing (still feel a little bit like that – my Swedish guilt is deeply rooted)so to sum it up: I was scared shitless. I called my host dad and he asked how we were and told me to call him when I knew more.

at this point the policemen had arrived and while waiting for them to finish their thing I had plenty of time to go through the motions and think about my host parents’ reaction when they got home later. I talked out loud which I sometimes do when I’m stressed out and among other things that came out were: oh shit. they will hate me now. they’ll never trust me again. oh shit. I want my mom. I want to go home to Sweden. they’re going to fire me. oh shit.
the kids assured me that everything would be fine, Kyle told me that they had been in car accidents before, and by the tenth time I asked how they felt they started to get annoyed and I started to calm down. Bridget and Kyle got crayons and hats from a fireman to entertain them but we all started to get a bit bored after a while.
the police wanted my drivers license and my insurance papers and they told me to check if my engine still worked (it did), they walked around and took pictures and asked what happened. the girl in the car behind me was rolled away on a gurney with a neck-thing on since her airbags were activated by the impact, but other than that no one was hurt. and about an hour later we were able to drive home, we stopped in a parking lot to check Bob out and then we went home.
thankfully everything turned out fine. once my host parents came home I told them again what happened, Bridget wanted to talk to her mom alone and when they came back my host mom said that they weren’t going to fire me. apparently Bridget had asked her since I worried about it during my freak-out. she’s so sweet sometimes :D

I still feel a little bit guilty, but I’ve gone through it so many times in my head by now and I still can’t see how I could have done anything differently in that situation. I’m just so happy the kiddos were fine, I’d much rather get hurt myself than see anything happen to them.
I’m driving, nervously with an extra eye on the cars behind me, but still. my host dad said he trusts me and that I need to do that to. and I will get my confidence back. soon.

poor broken butt Bob