two days ago I was in a car accident. I figured it would happen sooner or later since I drive so much here, but apart from that I didn’t give it much more thought.

this Tuesday around 1 pm I wished I had figured out a plan. me and the kiddos were going to feed the ducks and get some lunch before I had to drop them off at their school picnic. that did not happen. on the way to the pond where the ducks live I had to brake quite hard since the girl in front of me did that. every thing was fine for about two seconds when the girl behind me failed to brake and crashed into us. first thing that came out of my mouth was: “shit” closely followed by asking the kids if they were fine, which, thank god, they were.

a guy who was going in the other direction stopped and asked how we were and helped getting us on the right track by calling the police. I completely loved him for that.

~ I seem to do that a lot: falling in love with strangers who are nice to me when I’m completely lost ~
anyway I went outside to check on Bob (we named the car that) and it didn’t look to good. realizing that I had to call my host dad and tell him about the accident made me freak out more than the accident itself. I know it sounds insane but telling someone that you were in a car accident with their car while driving their kids is scary. add the fact that this person is your employer and that you’re living in their house in a country that’s far far away from your family who loves you no matter what. plus at this point I still wasn’t clear on what had happened and I felt guilty for the whole thing (still feel a little bit like that – my Swedish guilt is deeply rooted)so to sum it up: I was scared shitless. I called my host dad and he asked how we were and told me to call him when I knew more.

at this point the policemen had arrived and while waiting for them to finish their thing I had plenty of time to go through the motions and think about my host parents’ reaction when they got home later. I talked out loud which I sometimes do when I’m stressed out and among other things that came out were: oh shit. they will hate me now. they’ll never trust me again. oh shit. I want my mom. I want to go home to Sweden. they’re going to fire me. oh shit.
the kids assured me that everything would be fine, Kyle told me that they had been in car accidents before, and by the tenth time I asked how they felt they started to get annoyed and I started to calm down. Bridget and Kyle got crayons and hats from a fireman to entertain them but we all started to get a bit bored after a while.
the police wanted my drivers license and my insurance papers and they told me to check if my engine still worked (it did), they walked around and took pictures and asked what happened. the girl in the car behind me was rolled away on a gurney with a neck-thing on since her airbags were activated by the impact, but other than that no one was hurt. and about an hour later we were able to drive home, we stopped in a parking lot to check Bob out and then we went home.
thankfully everything turned out fine. once my host parents came home I told them again what happened, Bridget wanted to talk to her mom alone and when they came back my host mom said that they weren’t going to fire me. apparently Bridget had asked her since I worried about it during my freak-out. she’s so sweet sometimes :D

I still feel a little bit guilty, but I’ve gone through it so many times in my head by now and I still can’t see how I could have done anything differently in that situation. I’m just so happy the kiddos were fine, I’d much rather get hurt myself than see anything happen to them.
I’m driving, nervously with an extra eye on the cars behind me, but still. my host dad said he trusts me and that I need to do that to. and I will get my confidence back. soon.

poor broken butt Bob

last day before New York...
... and I must say I spent it well...

I got up at 6.20 am to get the kids ready for their las day at the camp at the Pacific Science Center and I didn't go to bed again after they were out the door at 7.20 am ~ which, trust me, is a great feat.
I had breakfast, showered and got dressed ('cause that's what you do in the morning)
at 10 am Katrine picked me up and we went into Seattle. on the way to the city we stopped by the Troll under the bridge which was really cool and then we went into the city.
after a quick stop at Starbucks we went on the Monorail to the center of Seattle where we did what girls do - walk around, talking and shopping. at one point we decided that we wanted to see Mamma Mia! and I loved the first part of it. we were singing along to the songs and talking while watching ~ so much fun :D
but all fun things must come to an end and we were told - very harshly I might add - to shut up since we were disturbing a grumpy man on the row infront of us. the movie was still good but he kind of put a damper on things ~ were we still allowed to laugh?
after the movie we walked around some more and (naturally) trash-talked the grumpy man.
as much as I didn't want it to end we decided that it was time to head home. and once Katrine drove up outside my house I got all sad and weepy. the reason for this is simple - she's done working next week and I might not see her again until I get home to Sweden (she lives in Kopenhagen, which is nice and close). because she is one of my best friends here in Seattle and one of the funniest people I know I'm kind of scared that the rest of my time here will suck. which totally stinks :(
I miss you guys like crazy (just so you know) and now it will be even worse since the person I felt most connected to is leaving. being an au-pair sure sucks sometimes.
while we were sitting in the car outside my house talking, the kids who were playing outside were looking at us seemingly thinking "what the h-ll are they doing?!?"
once I was out and Katrine was on her way home Bridget and I ran through the sprinkler on the front lawn. my jeans got wet but since it cheered me up it was totally worth it :)

I packed my stuff for New York and Canada....
.... and now I'm sitting here since I promised one of you a blog-update before NY...

I got my first parking ticket. and I was stuck on the floor for 20 min.

sounds confusing? it's not.

last Thursday I decided to take the kids to the Children's Museum in Everett which I did and we had a blast. on the way out from the parkinglot I spot a pay-thingy (not sure what they're called - it's a metal box where you pay for parking - also I'm in pain right now and that's distracting me) and I'm thinking to myself "shit I didn't see that before, hope they didn't catch me" after I get out of Everett and on the I-5 I see something yellow on my windshield and yet again I go "shit, looks like they caught me after all".

the next half hour was a very nervous one, I can promise you that. when we finally reach McDonalds (K&B were craving desert) I look at the dreaded yellow envelope and realize that it could have been so much worse.

but that doesn't keep me from being annoyed...

just now I was stuck on the floor. like a bug on it's back. I could not move or get up.

last night around 7 pm my back started to ache. in the area of my shoulder blade. no biggie, maybe I had spent to much time with my jigsaw puzzle which happes at time. when I got home from Maria's house at 00.10 am it still hurt and I was starting to wonder what the heck was going on back there.

this morning nothing had changed and I realized that the right side of my upper body including my arm is, almost, completely useless since it hurts like *piiiip* every time I use or move it in a weird angle. typing on my computer is fine but that's pretty much the extent of what doesn't hurt.

I tried one of the oldest tricks in the book: lying down on my back, legs on a chair in 90°. it felt ok but no major pain reliever, so I decide to get up. only now I'm stuck. I can't move because of the pain. so I lay there on the floor trying to find a way up that wont hurt. and this takes me twenty minutes. twenty very frustrating painful minutes.

my host parents told me to take painkillers and any sane person would do that. but I'm not one of those people.

the way I see it is that if something hurts when you move it's better to feel the pain since it's your body's way of telling you that something is wrong and that you should take it easy. if you take painkillers you wont feel pain (duh) but you might end up doing something to make it worse.

sounds insane I know but remember my back really really aches and I have yet to find a position that feels confortable, maybe I'll take the kids on a field trip tomorrow to someone who can help me fix my back...

Jag antar din utmaning Sara (och skriver på svenska)
Here goes:

Vad gjorde du för 10 år sedan?

Kan inte svära i domstol under ed men trór att det var så här: För 10 år sen hade jag sommarlov och såg framemot en ridläger vecka, en Greklands semester, sovmorgon, cykelturer till Vaxsjön och andra roliga sommar saker. Dock fasade jag för 3 veckor i sommarstugan utan varmvatten och med utedass mitt i skogen (inte roligt om man är mörkrädd med livlig fantasi)

Vilka 5 saker finns på din att-göra-lista?

1. Planera sommaren för mig och kidsen ~ måste hitta roliga aktiviteter att göra utomhus (och inomhus om det berömda Seattle vädret kommer tillbaka)
2. Kolla upp vilka datum jag är hemma så jag vet när jag kan hitta på roligheter med Maria och Maria. La Push and Forks here we come :)
3. Leta efter och anmäla mig till roliga/intressanta kurser.
4. Spara ihop så jag har råd att läsa kurserna ~ 500 $ från mina host parents kommer man inte långt på.
5. Tvinga mig igenom de första kapitelna i the Host eftersom resten av boken ska vara bra.

Ställen du bott på?

Malmö ~ Dalslandsatan och ? (var för liten för att komma ihåg)

Höör ~ Lodjursstigen

Akureiry ~ Helgamagastraeti (sommar boende räknas)

Botell ~ 2711 202nd St SE (min nuvarande adress)

5 saker du skulle göra om du var billionär?

1. Köpa den (för mig) perfekta hästen.

2. Resa till platser jag nu bara kan drömma om ~ London, Alcatraz, Nya Zeeland ~

3. Shoe shopping in New York

4. Spara till framtida utgifter så som studielån (om jag någonsin går tillbaka till skolan), boende etc.

5. Donera en rejäl bit av det till mina favorit organisationer: WWF, Fair Trade, Rädda Barnen.

Saras utmaning är antagen och avklarad, och här är mina listor. Hur ser dina listor ut?

I just came home after watching Sex and the City. it's 12.50 am. and I want to cry. because of a stupid movie.
why did the movie have this big inpact on me you might wonder....
even if the movie wasn't the greatest (not saying it wasn't good) it left me feeling alone. as long as I was swept up in SatC it was fine but in the car on my way home I started thinking (and that is as we all know never good) and thinking about the movie made me think about the core of SatC. the girls. their frindships. and it made me miss my friends at home. alot. alot alot.
I've never been away for a longer period like this and I miss normal everyday stuff. talking on msn. going to Lund and have lunch. going for walks. knowing that you have people just a phone call away if life feels like shit and you need to talk.
I miss that. and even if I have great friends here it's not the same. not nearly the same.
I normally deal with it by not thinking about it. I do stuff with the kids. watch GREEK. go shopping at the mall. and if everything else fails I go to Barnes & Noble.
but after watching the movie it was right in front of me and I can't ignore it tonight (I will do my best to supress these emotions in the morning). I want to go home right now and hang out with you guys. I won't even have to talk, I'll just sit and listen to your discussions and pretend I understand what you talking about.

and I'll be happy and not feel as alone and detached as I feel here.
I swear.