I'm a screw up.
I tend to stick my head in the sand and not think about the things I should be thinking about and I always pay for it afterwards. funny this is I've been doing this for as long as I can remember and I still haven't learned from it. now that really makes you wonder what's wrong with me...

one of the bigger messes I've made is my education. at the time I didn't care, but now I do and I've decided to do something about that. or as it is, last week I decided and started e-mailing and checking who I need to talk with.
this is where another one of my bigger issues come in. I'm really good at making spur of the moment decisions and those I tend to follow through (no matter how stupid they are). if, however, I have time to think about it I get scared and the 'what ifs' have time to form in my head.
last Friday I knew who I needed to talk with and I was supposed to call her on Monday but when Monday came I decided to call her on Tuesday. on Tuesday time just flew away from me which meant calling on Wednesday and now I’m sitting here wondering where the heck the week went. *poof*

I need to find my spot and feel like I belong in this world again. I’ve been avoiding that for the past 16 months in Seattle, great months, wonderful experiences, but my motivation for going wasn’t all that noble.
but there will be no more avoiding and hiding.
tomorrow morning I'm calling the school and I'll do whatever I can to make things right.
I just hope I still have a shot at fixing it.