the other week I picked up a copy of Utbildningskatalogen 07/08. I don’t really know why I did it - peer pressure from T who was with me or just a habit?

anyway, for some reason I took a look in it recently, to see if there was anything interesting or maybe I was bored.... what I actually did find surprised me. two very intriguing courses which start in the fall. Children’s Literature in a Global Perspective – basically about the children’s literature, the development with a global perspective. and Creative Writing – is an intro to imaginative writing which emphasizes on self-expression, language development and the craft.
not only does these courses seem quite fun but there’s also another perk. I can take one or both of them and still work since they’re part-time courses scheduled on evenings or on-line workshops.

I didn’t think I would want to go back to school again for awhile but I guess it’s about finding something that excites you. which frankly for me isn’t grammar – but I do like children’s books and apparently writing =)

so I will apply for these courses and after that we’ll see what happens. like I always say: whatever happens happens

what if you were to meet a genie and he (or she) gave you three wishes. would you be the type of person who asks for three more wishes or maybe the one who wishes for world peace?
sadly I wouldn’t be the latter one, but on the other hand I wouldn’t be the first one either – so I can’t be all bad, can I?

my first wish would be bravery. I would like to be brave enough to walk in the forest at night. to stand up for myself and others. to take a chance every now and then. to get on a train to the airport and get on a randomly picked plane and see where I would end up.
my second wish would be to be really good at something, to have a talent of some sort. I don’t know exactly what it would be but something other than being the master of Buffy the Vampire Slayer trivia and being able to act out Dirty Dancing with most of the script correctly quoted. sure I’m good at being silly – but seriously, what good can come of that? I would want something more substantial, something that would be useful and maybe not a talent rather than a quality. like being really good at remembering names, or being very nice or knowing what to do or say in weird situations (being less Chandler-like when it comes to social situations and jokes).
as for my third wish. I would save it. before you know it or sometime far in the future something might happen when it would be needed.
actually on second thought. I would use it. I would wish that people in general would become more aware.
aware of the environmental issues – do we want to look for another planet to live on? cause that’s were we’re headed. by cutting down the rainforest we’re not only destroying on of the most important and fascinating type of natures we have on Earth, we’re also wiping out the natural habitat to thousands of bugs and other creatures. which brings me to my next point:
aware of what we’re doing to the animal life – save the gorillas and pandas anyone? or maybe a tiger?
aware of what horrible things some children have to go through – things they shouldn’t even know existed.

I could probably add lots of other issues to this wish, but you have to stop somewhere. I would, however, extend my wish and apart from awareness I would want people to wake up and act. on behalf of the environment, the wildlife and (maybe most important) the children. our future.
let’s face it: it can’t be that hard, it shouldn’t be that hard.
(I think that one of the main attractions to the teacher gig for me was that, if I was lucky, I would be able to make a difference in someone’s life. be there if a kid/student needed me.)
truth is it’s not that hard to make a difference in someone’s life. it doesn’t have to be a life changing difference rather than something which improves their day. smile to a stranger, help an old lady of the bus or buy Aluma.
whatever it is I’m sure it will be appreciated. a very heart warming (without being too mushy) book on the topic is Pay it forward by Catherine Ryan Hyde.

wow. look at me. completely of topic. this wasn’t going to be about saving the world from all things evil (mankind). it was supposed to be about my shallow wishes if I’m ever lucky enough to meet a genie (do I get a flying mat or was that just for Aladdin?)
I guess I’m starting to grow up – taking my first steps to becoming an aware adult. I suppose that happens to everyone sooner or later, I just didn’t expect it so soon...

has anyone seen my krumelur-pills?

a minor comment to my last post:

if I’ve caused the two of you to feel the tiniest bit guilty – I’m sorry. that wasn’t my intention. I guess I was stuck in Denial-land and reality just hit me. hard. on the head. with a huge wooden stick. to say the least I didn’t like it, at all.
I do want to hear about what happens to you in school, just not yet. maybe in a few weeks. It obviously feels to crappy right now. I think the same thing goes for gatherings with the rest of the group. I need a chance to move out of my castle in Denial-land and build a nice little hut with a swing in the garden in Acceptanceville.

and that may take some time since I like it rather much in my castle with all my nice furniture and the wonderful view.

today the musketeers were reunited.

we met at C’s and it almost felt like old times… almost.
the gals were talking about class and the workload and even if I didn’t want to, I felt left out. and I hated it. my mind drifted back to the last semester when I would have gotten into the conversation, complaining about F, laughing at the anecdotes - having witnessed them firsthand, talking about the homework. I don’t mean to be all bitter but I am.
right now I am.
I might not always have been so motivated to go to school early in the morning, but at least I got to hang out with two of my best friends all day. but now the funniest person, the one I connect most with – who allows me to be the goofy me, if only for a few minutes – is an old lady, a very sweet, giggly old lady. who I adore. but it’s not enough. I need to be me more than a few minutes every now and then.
and I wonder if I’ll ever find a workplace where I will have as much fun with my co-workers as I do with my friends.

it will probably be forgotten ‘til next time we meet but right now I’m bitter. bitter at my choice, even if I know it was the one I needed to make – not that I will admit it right now, but anyway. bitter at my heart, who refuses to listen to reason when my mind tries to tell it to ignore the irrational feelings of alienation and loss. bitter at my new job, where (sure they are nice people but) there is no one I can laugh with, be silly with, be me.
and I miss that. and what’s worse (I really am a bitca) the girls still have it. they have each other and all the silliness.

I miss it. and today I realized how much.