Wednesday, November 28, 2007

guess I'm not going after all.
I just recieved an e-mail from a childcare reference where she said she couldn't do it.
and since this was the one thing I needed to complete my application I guess I'm done.
no au pair in the US for me.
I knew I shouldn't have started that packing list and looking forward to it as much as I did.
things don't always go the way you plan I got that right.
now I need to wallow and find a new dream. just so I can watch it get shot down too? no thanks. wallowing it is then. I'm just going to put on the music of pain (not country) Silverchair's Diorama.
see you in a decade or two when I'm done.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

au pair.
that’s what I hope to be next year. and I’m writing hope because I don’t know if anyone will pick me. when it comes to things like these, important potentially life altering things I really wish for, I’m as pessimistic as a person can be. ~ the night before I found out I was accepted to Mah for the studies to become an English teacher I dreamt that I didn’t make it. when my mother called me the next day, I was in Kopasker in Iceland, I didn’t quite believe it at first ~ and despite the great character references I’ve got (still waiting for one ;) I keep thinking who would pick me when there are many other girls to pick from, girls who probably have much more experience of children than me.

but after meeting Lovisa yesterday, and of course the ever so lovely Allison, I’m much more confident. she was an au pair about two years ago, which is how she ended up with Allison, and she gave me some great advice. including shops I need to visit: Payless Shoes, TJ Max, Target and Mandee. and now I’m starting to think that maybe someone will pick me, but I still daren’t get my hopes up because I don’t want to be crushed if it doesn’t pan out

but lets face it. the packing list is starting to form in my head